Monday, July 29, 2013

Working Mom

The phrase "working mother" is redundant 
-- Jane Sellman

So today is the day.  I start back to work full-time today.  I can't really even describe the last 8 weeks.  They have been exhausting, exciting, relaxing and fulfilling all at the same time.

I never thought I would be one that would even want to be a stay-at-home mom.  My job was my "baby" before and having my concentration on something else has just been different for me.  My maternity leave was fun in the sense that I was getting paid the whole time I was home and could afford to shop, eat out and really enjoy the time off!  Life wouldn't quite be like that if I was a stay-at-home mom.  I realized I missed adult interaction.  I was antsy for Nathan to get home from work each day so I could have someone to talk to!  I missed my schedule and feeling productive.  I think I knew being at home was temporary so in my head I was ready to get adjusted to how things were going to be long term.  I also missed getting out of the house.  I've never been so excited to run simple errands in all of my adult life! :)  Seriously, I respect the women that choose to stay home full-time.  It's a lot harder than I anticipated!!

I feel like it has taken me until this past week to get Chase to a point where I could lay him down long enough to get anything done.  I like order and organization...chaos makes me stressed.  Because of that, I was a bit shocked the first few weeks at how little I was able to accomplish around my house!  Getting a shower and dressed for the day was an accomplishment, let alone actually getting laundry and dishes done!!  

I'm a fairly independent person and asking for my help isn't normally my style, but there was a few times I did ask for help during my time off.  It was good for me to prioritize what needed to be accomplished and take advantage of free moments as they came up!

I'm blessed that my mom and mother-in-law are watching Chase while I work 4 days a week and that I am going to be able to stay home with him each Friday.  Yet, I'm dealing with the guilty and selfish feelings of having to leave him.  I know I'll be fine once I get use to our new schedule and it's good to know Chase is getting loved on while I am at work 8 hours a day!

I don't normally take a lot of vacation time with my job, so I thoroughly enjoyed having time off to do whatever I wanted.  I loved having an extra 2 weeks to spend with my baby.  Bonding with Chase is something I can't describe - he just melts my heart.  I look forward to experiencing many more mommy moments with my new little family!

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